A world through unclouded eyes

Responsible?

Tue, 16 Jun 2009 16:04:21 GMT

This word..its something that gets passed around a lot when you are growing up. From that first moment you say that you want that small pet..dog or what have you. To the day that you want a car or the house to yourself while your parents are out. We learn early on that it means taking what comes from a choice or action you made. But the question is..what if you did it..and now you see the outcome..and your not sure its what you want.

I have lived my life with the simple rule..the past is behind you..if you look back..you will trip and fall and lose your way. That you may miss something great cause you were so busy looking back. Yet here I am right now..faced with something I didn't think I would have to face. The wondering if what I've done is right..am I responsible for it all? I often thought I was..then others tell me I'm not..then I think hard on it..and I'm faced with the simple fact that I am. I get confused and think about what could have been or what should be.

So the true question is..am I responsible for all the ill that came in my life..down to the very first true chance I got to make my own choices. I have to say yes and no..you can't be responsible for everything that goes on in the world. But you can be for the little things in life..like will I have some ceral? But I doubt you will flash back to that moment when your sitting in a hostage situation hungry. Thinking if only you ate that bowl of ceral..this might not have happen. What it boils down too in trust..is your sense of responsiblity. When you look at yourself in the mirror..or around where you live. Can you point out the things your responsible for? Can you look to that person your with..and say I'm with you cause of the actions I made..for the devotion I gave..and for the love that I have.

To your things that you own..and say I got this cause of that..we live in a time of chaos..not knowing what each moment will bring..or each day will give. In this time and in this place..I can only look at my own to hands..and think..today..today is different. If you ask why..then just look at your own to hands..and ask yourself..am I willing to take responsiblity for what I can do with these? Will today be different?

Change?

Tue, 07 Apr 2009 06:53:24 GMT

We all go through things in our lives that cause us to be who we are..things that some of us wish would never happen in our lives..things we wish we could change and not have to have happen in our lives. But I have often wondered..if we change that one event..would our lives turn out so different..or would things have got worse or better? or would anything have changed at all? As you can see I've wrestled greatly with these questions over the course of my life.

But just last week..something major came about..I up and left my job..did I have a good reason..yes..but was it the best to validate to quit a job that was paying me..and that meant I would have money..who knows now at days..the world is going down the tubes..and we all fight for jobs..yet we still have to have our pride and still have the hope that things will change. That is what life is..its change..and things always some how keep moving forward..even if we all just up and disappear..things will still keep moving. Nothing is forever..not even the stars.

But in the few days that things have changed..that I lost a job..I am staying with family right now..my Aunt and her sons..she has three sons..two are 17 and 15..and the other is a boy age 4..but over the past few days I've been taking care of the place..cleaning..making sure chores get done..and just looking after things and doing my best to make sure..well just that..that everything would run smooth..but now I'm a bit lost for words..today I was sitting at the table with Joey..the 4yr old..well it seems like no one has shown him how to eat..he uses a fork..but not the right way..so here I am showing him how to eat a meal..

I mean me..of all people..getting kids to take showers..cleaning..teaching them how to do things..being nice. I never thought I would be that type of person..I thought I would always not want to have kids..or to even be around them..yet here I was helping and teaching them..and I found myself..well..wanting to be a father..cause teaching him how to eat..and being proud of the fact that he was doing it..it just made me sit back and wonder..was it as easy..just trying to be there..to teach..to help them along..I never knew all those things possible..but here I am..wanting to be a father..to have a family..

I guess..change comes..it comes when you least expect it..and helps us..it gives us hope.. a hope that we feared..would never come

Fear..

Mon, 30 Mar 2009 07:41:45 GMT

They say..a man without fear is a fool..so I ask what is a man with fear? I do not think they would consider him wise..if he let fear rule his life..so like many things..a man must rule his fear..he must bend it to his will..or he might end up so afraid of the world that he no longer feels there is ever going to be peace for him..now at days..I have to say..even the slightest thing seems to trigger my fears...and then my mind runs away with them..part of me wants to just give up..change my name..and run for it..never to be heard of again..but then I would be like my father..who recently..my brother found..and told me about..he was so close..its not even funny..but to think..being so close..and to never once care about your own child..something that is suppose to mean the world..that is suppose to change your life..and make you take hold and teach..it seems..in some..that trait does not carry..part of me wants to hunt him down and scream at him..part of me wants just to go to him..and ask why..the last part..just wishes he would notice me..accept me..but I am not sure which is stronger..so here I sit. Afraid of the world..and what it offers me..I used to embrace it..but now it seems that I'm not a part of it..more just someone who is renting space..and living each day around those I have no place with..so I wait..wait for it all to come to a curtin close..when the curtin goes down on my performance..and I hear the band quiet down..the crowd waits for my ancore..as I go out and the curtin lifts again..there is no one there..they have all left..and I stand on the stage..as the lights go dim..taking my final bow..for no one at all..

Happiness?

Sun, 29 Mar 2009 06:54:42 GMT

Well at this day and age I live in..I wonder if I will ever be happy..or will I be someone that just looks for the next quick fix in his life..I'm not sure..I do not know what to do or say..its like each time I'm happy..it takes twice as much to make myself happy..its like a battle to make myself smile..and to make those around me happy..I just do not know what would make me happy..I think I know..and then it wears off faster then I can come up with the next thing..so here I am..doing what I have to do..not what I want to do..I just do not know what I should do..or hope for..I just hope that those around me will understand..and that they will someday..know that I was a good person at heart..

Two weeks..

Thu, 05 Feb 2009 22:07:19 GMT

Its intresting..to think what has happen in only two weeks..to think about the path that has been laid out before me..I often joke and smile about life as things happen around me. I try not to take anything to serious as its a wall that stands before me blocking the rest of my life. But then the wall falls forward..not giving you a chance to get out of the way. As it falls you either look up at it and wait for it to crush you or..you run away in hopes of getting out of its way. So as it fell forward toward me..all I did this time..was stand..for I had blocked off all others roads..I had sealed all paths..in hopes that I could get over this wall.

So now I'm left..brushed by a wall I thought I could get over..but for once..I'm not too sad that I was crushed by a wall. I knew this day was coming since I sealed myself in and hoped to get over the wall. I could say picture a cartoon sliding out from under a wall..all flat and making a funny noise as he stumbles off..but for once in my life. I have to say that joking will not make things easier. We live in a time where we try to hold onto things from our childhood..we live in a time where the past is the only thing that keeps us from drowning. But then we get hit with something that forces us to face the world that we have around us. We have done things we wanted all of our life..and now..something shakes you to look at the world around you.

You awake from your dream and have to look at what is around you, that makes up your world. The dream I was living in..has always made me smile..even when I knew it was something that was not real..that could not be real..but still..when I thought about it..I smiled..and the wall seemed to get a bit smaller. Still here I am..wondering where I went in a wrong direction..or did something wrong. Yes I could spend a whole day listing all the things I have done wrong..in truth I think it would take more then a day to list all of it..I could say sorry forever..but the damage is still not going to be fixed with those words..no matter how much I mean them. Yes it kills my body..and rips the flesh..and crushes the spirit. But only when something old that is falling apart..is torn down..can it be rebuilt.

So right now I'm going to say..I haven't hung up everything from my childhood..but for once..for once in my life..there is no laughing..there is no smile..only a man standing in the dusk of a day..as the wind blows over him..and a solom look upon his face..as his eyes are cast over the distance..and only a few words come to mind

WILL SHE COME BACK IF I CALL HER A THOUSAND TIMES?..NO,
WILL SHE COME BACK IF I CALL HER A HUNDRED MILLION TIMES?

IF IT'S A SPELL THAT GUARANTEES HER RETURN,
EVEN IF I CALL AND CALL AND GET EXHAUSTED FROM CALLING..

I WANT TO.. CALL.

And for those who are reading this..I thank you for understanding..and for putting up with me..and I know..you always will try to be there for me..and yes..I know I have grown up some..but that still will never change who I am inside..I am Michael..not the arch angel..not the demon..not the furry..simply put..I am Michael..Good luck to those I care for..I know each of you have a life to lead..and a path to walk..will I be on it..who can say such things..all I know is that you deserve to be happy..don't spend a lifetime looking over your shoulder..cause you never need look back..for I'm always behind you..to catch you before you fall.

Its time

Tue, 20 Jan 2009 20:50:51 GMT

Its either put up or shut up in my life. I'm tired of saying what I want to do..I'm tired of saying how I wish things where. I am tired of myself is what I'm trying to say. I'm tired of hoping for the best in my life. I have tore my wings off and given up the dream of flying. If I have to be on this place..if I have to live in this place..then I'm going to fight..I'm going to push..I'm going to demand better of myself. I have stitched up my body..I now stand ready..the cold wind at my back reminding me of what is behind me. The sun beating down on my face saying that it dares me to gaze into it. To see the new dawn and greet it with a proud face. This is when I either show my true signs of being a pup or being a wolf. I will bare my fangs and charge at the throat of what is blocking me..its as if your fighting a shadow..the ghost of how you were..and what you want to be..I know what I want..and I'm going to fight for it..the worlds against me..the odds are stacked against me..I've fallen once from the clouds where I used to live..and I see now that I was living in a dream..and now I'm faced with the very world that I used to play with.

Now I stand ready to begin my march..to fight hard and struggle with my last breath. This may be the last stand I can take..but I'm going to unlock what ever is in my heart. I'm going to tame it and make it my own power and charge forward. What ever I become..what ever thing I turn into..I will always be proud of the things I have done. But I have to lock that past away..I can't let it hold me back. I have to grow a new heart and soul. I have to shed this past and roar into the new day. This is where I prove myself..to me..and to..someone..I will do it all. I will become a man. No longer a boy..no longer a lost soul..my wings are gone and I'm now walking forward. I do not know what I hope for..but so help me..I will not stop as long as my heart beats in my chest.

This is not a rant..this is not a normal Post..what this is..is a letter of intent. A letter to mark something..a letter to remind myself. That I am dying..but at the same time living..split in two..I'm a twin of a different ilk. Watch me roar..

This is So Long for now..but not goodbye

Fri, 03 Oct 2008 14:24:30 GMT

For those of you that know who I am..and what type of person I am..you know that so long is never good bye in my book. But for some reason it seems that I keep bouncing around and moving from place to place..home doesn't ever seem to be a place I can call or seem to care about. My home has become the world. I have to thank each of you that have ranted at me..and listened to me rant back..but for now I leave for a new place..a new home..a new chapter in my life. Will it be something good? Or will it be another place I run from? I do not know.

But what I do know is that I have to find a place to call home. I have to find a place where I fit in and can make a life for myself. I'm tired of being that guy..I've lived in over 6 states..and 1 other country..I mean seriously..I need to settle down..I'm 28 now..this game gets old..but in any case..I just thought I would say good bye to everyone for now. Take care of yourselves..and always know you'll be with me..where ever I walk

Been a long time...

Sat, 27 Sep 2008 05:51:38 GMT

For those of you that remember me all to well, I have to say I feel sorry for you. No just kidding. But its been awhile since I last posted to this little slice of heaven of mine. I do not know where to start with what is going on or what has happen. So they say its always good to start these things just in the beginning. Well as a few of you know I have a birthday coming up all to soon. I plan on having the best pitty party money can afford dammit! heh. I'll be 28 all to soon, and looking back on everything that has happen. I have to say that I have done more in these short 28 years then most do in there whole lives. I have lived in over 5 different states, and I have lived in one different country. Most people never even leave home. I would go into those that I have fallen in love with..but its much to short a list to even begin to start to call people out. But you know who you are..*gets out a sticky dart gun and shoots those he loves* Awww..empty already. In any case. I have had my problems just like everyone else has..sometimes I rant about them on here..other times I keep them to myself and end up going off the deep end. Horray me!

But for the most part I wanted to just get on here and say thank you to each one of you that I still can call friend. I know that I'm sometimes the mother hen type that jumps in and trys to tell you everything will be fine. I always try to point out the good in the darkest of things going on in your lives. I know many of you rather dislike that about me. For that I'm sorry more then anything else. But in my own defense I have to say that I just wanted to make sure each of you are happy and well taken care of. But now I guess the open road is calling to me again.

You must be wondering what I mean by that line. Well I mean that it seems I have never lived at any place since I was 18 for longer then two years. I'm always hopping around from house to house trying to find a place to live. No place has ever felt like home to me..although some people can make any place sound like home. *points a guilty finger* In any case I don't know where I'm going or what the future holds for me. But I fear that I don't know when I'll next be able to post to you each. Some of you don't seem to notice or mind that I'm hoping around..but for those that seem to remember me. I'll be looking for you someday.

Its the Epic Battle?!

Thu, 21 Aug 2008 06:50:28 GMT

As they go deeper into the dungeon, the lights slowly begin to dim. The air becomes rich with the smell of dried blood that covers the ground and walls. Suddenly screams fill the air all around them from every direction. Their hearts race with the thoughts of what caused such death songs. Then before them a loud roar is heard, as all torchs point down the cave. And before them stands the most evil foul beast ever created!

Me!~.~;

Seems a great many people feel that way as of late. I do not know what I should say or do. But everyone seems to think just cause I want nothing to do with there little worlds. That I'm anti-social, and anit this and that, and so on.

The truth of the matter is that I just fear letting those people down. Just cause I can not be what they want me to be, or what they need me to be. So I just figure why bother trying something you are only going to fail out. Guess that is why I move around so much, and try to run away from it all.

Fun Time?

Fri, 08 Aug 2008 22:51:24 GMT

Well things are going as they always do..very slow..nothing to amazing ever seems to happen..but I sometimes enjoy just keeping my life calm for the moment. After all I think I'm still within my two years of moving thing. Two years roll around I may have to just up and move and go on my very way. LOL.

In any old case I have found ways to keep myself busy and happy. I right now have my PS3 up and running. Along with that the games I've snatched up are mind sucking..lol. I have grabbed myself Monster Madness, The Orange Box, MotorStorm, Oblivion The Game of the year Edition, BattleField Bad Company, MetalGear 4, and DragonBallZ BurstLimit. So right now those are keeping me busy.

As for anime the new ones I tried right now is Burst Angel..which I thought would be very cool. But as it turns out it was just a fan service. So I tried another one called Moon Phase..I have to say its cute..but it just couldn't spark the whole..cool side..so right now I'm just waiting for a good one to roll around.

Time to kill!

The edge...

Thu, 31 Jul 2008 01:53:43 GMT

Lately..so much has been going on..that I didn't know where to start..what to say..or how to say it..all I knew..was that those around me needed to talk..that I needed to listen..that I had to for once try to shut up. But that is not what this is about..or is it..I can't be sure. Let me try to make this sound like sense some how.

First is that, well it seems like the world crushes one soul so easy. It feels like everything is growing dark and I just want to hope the light will break thru. I just want to hope that it will end well and that I can see something else. Yet as I wait..it gets closer and closer..and I still keep waiting. Yet in the end..as I feel it begin to crawl over me..as the darkness wraps around me. It doesn't stop..I just stand there and watch this dark water..wrap around me.

A easy way to picture this..is a man who walks into slow moving quick sand..how it slowly begins to make him sink in. How at first he tries to think of a way to get out. Then how he begins to scream for help, that never ever comes. Then in the end he begins to just hope..some how..in some way that he will be saved. But as the sand reachs his chest he begins to break down..maybe even cry.

Then when it is at his neck..he begins to scream again in hopes that he will be heard..that some how..it will bring that help that he needs. Then a few last tears as it reachs his eyes...then just silence. That is how this darkness feels..that is how it acts..and that is how it also kills.

I try to be something I am not..I try to be a hero with black wings..I try to be there to help those I care for..to listen..to be always ready to use myself as sheild..and when it comes down to it..I learn that my wings are broken..that blood drips from them..every time I try to use them..more blood flows out of them and into a dark pool at my feet.

I never notice this pool..until its to late..and then I begin to drown in a sea of my blood. Why do I care? Why do I hope? Why am I here? I scream these out in my dreams each night..I know cause in every dream I have..I die..I die and no one is there to save me..people relate dreams to things in real life..then I ask you..why have I so much guilt..that I have to die?

I know you all have your own reasons in life..why you are here? What you want? And what you hope for..yet still I have yet to even begin to scratch the surface of future for myself..I stand in the middle of the wasteland..I stand there and look off..and in all directions nothing..

We pave our own paths..we walk in a line..reaching for that which we want most..every time I do that..a wall slams in front of me..blocking the path..yet with my nails..with my bare fist..I beat against it..watching my blood spray on the wall..as it just sits there..I keep trying to make a dent..but in the end..I just crumple against it..

Once again..my blood pools around me..and I slowly sink into it..does it matter? Should I hope?..then I figure..there is a way..then I figure..there is a hope..walk to the edge..walk to the edge of darkness..look out at that nothing..let it sink into you..at the edge of your very soul..your sanity..you stare at it..what do you do at the edge?

What is love?

Thu, 24 Jul 2008 01:03:06 GMT

Something to smile and laugh about

Meaning in the words..no the music

Tue, 22 Jul 2008 08:31:17 GMT

Just something to share with you..so here you go enjoy

Hell has froze over!

Tue, 22 Jul 2008 03:48:03 GMT

Well someone came out today at around 5pm..he did his job..and now we have this thing..that blows out cool air! So right now I'm loving the nice cool air..today has been another day of joy..today I tried to walk down the road to test out my foot..lets just say I was the alpha male for a bit..bitting my tongue and keeping from limping to much. I wasn't going to say..but it was tender and sore..it seems like it might take a bit longer then a week for it to be back up to snuff..but so far I was able to get around the house now. Still lets you know that not everything last forever it would seem..things break or fall apart. And for the longest time I thought it wouldn't be that hard if something happens like that..but when it comes down it..it changes a great deal of your life..its so hard to get around, and this is just a toe..so it gave me new respect..I have never broke a bone in my life..this is my first one..and it changed my view point a great deal..but still thank you all for your support

So this is hell?

Mon, 21 Jul 2008 05:50:49 GMT

Well currently..I'm as close as possible to living in a nightmare..right now our AC is out..and you have to picture..living in the lovely south..you have a great deal of heat..so we have been without AC all day..so I have been sitting around trying to keep cool. But then to add on to that..I'm so broke right now..its not funny. Along with that I have been unable to work cause of my broken foot. My boss thinks cause I have to take pain pills..that I'll be so out of it..that I might mess up..or pass out on the job. So I have missed five days of work..yeah for me. So my next pay check will be so small..I think when I cash it...they will ask me to pay them. But still here I am sweating to death..and just trying to relax. But I was given a good video to watch which gave me something to smile about in this heat..so I'm going to share it with you..and by the way..i tried the whole snowball thing in here..and it melted faster then frosty when summer comes and the kids won't let him leave

Life in da slow lane

Fri, 18 Jul 2008 00:58:50 GMT

Well I just have to say that things in my life have taken a nice little turn and began to move very slow now. Which is something I like very much. I have time to sort myself out and slowly get my act together. Which is a very good thing. Now I just have to stop living in the little corner of my world. Its begun to grow and now comes the time for me to grow and become something else. So I'm just hoping that I can become a better person. But if I changed way to much..thats a good thing..that means I'm eating some what better. And clean clothes! LOL. No more sniffing the clothes to see which ones are clean and can pass for another day. As for the OCD..well lets just say I've begun to calm down a little. That is cause of a roommate that makes a landfill look like a park, guy. I mean I walk by this guys room and drop to the floor. Gasping for air and putting on the gas mask yelling "GAS!GAS!GAS!" thank you Marine corps for that trainning. Hold your breath and put on the mask, then clear it. Then throw a frag in there..and let the gas do the rest..that whole part of the house would go up. Thank the good lord that I freak out about that..and clean up enough so that my room smells good. I just don't freak out over the little things now. I just freak about the big things and always need to calm myself down. But hopeing in the future that I'll be able to move on and get my own world..a nice home..and just move on..this is just a step in the right direction of my life. Its been about a year since things have begun to change..and with that I've become a new person..I just have to keep moving in the right direction..now then..*pokes his belly* I have to work on this guy..and I'll be good *snickers*

Tv?

Wed, 16 Jul 2008 21:03:24 GMT

Well I don't know how many of my fine friends out there like anime. But I thought I would share one of the ones I have fallen in love with. Its called Soul Eater!. Its a really cool one with funny animation, and the charcs are the type that we can all relate with. not only that there is something in there for everyone. Cool magic, Ninja, Big weapons, Witchs! Hey who can turn down amazing combination like that. So if you have a intrest for Anime..I say you go ahead and check out the anime Soul Eater..Its easy to pull it up on VEOH..so just stop in and type it up

Pain..

Sat, 12 Jul 2008 23:29:20 GMT

Well I have to say I'm so gifted..right now I've managed to break my first bone! Well I'm gimping around all crazy like now. Cause it was in my foot. So right now I'm on cruchs and it hurts like crazy. But beyond that I had to go to ER cause it was all sorts of crazy pain..and it hurts badly still..and I have to hop around on cruchs for a entire week..*sighs* Why am I so lucky? Well in case thats all I got for you..have a good one

Thought I would share

Fri, 11 Jul 2008 14:37:51 GMT

Hello one and all. Another little short post from me. Everything is going along okay. But I thought I would share a little song that I like very much. Its more I like the lyrics. I'm sure someo f you can guess why. With that in mind enjoy and let me know what you think.

Thu, 10 Jul 2008 01:26:50 GMT

Well do you listen to your doctor? Or do you know what's best for you? Recently I went to see my doc..had a long talk and the whole thing. She seems to think I change around a bit too much. She says each time she see's me. She doesn't know who she is going to talk with or who will walk out. So she thinks I have to either relax more..or do something else. And of course how they love to give you candy! *shakes his candy bottle* But when I think about things in the past..and how I used to be..and the things I said and did..I know how much I never want to be that person again. How I want to live in a world where others can live with me. Not where I'm the lord high master..but where I'm a friend and someone that can be open and show he is real. Not just some fake person with a mask on fooling the world. Sometimes though I look back and want things I know are gone from my life. Sometimes it takes a strong punch in the gut to remind me of that. But I think with this I can start walking down the right road and looking out for the best..let the past melt away and step into that new world that is slowly growing. I hope that in my future..things will be brighter

Back in the saddle

Sun, 06 Jul 2008 21:55:53 GMT

Well life is going the way it always does. You know how you feel like you hit that low point. And no matter how much you push the gas, you just keep rolling back into the center of the ditch. But you know I just push the gas harder and harder. And I swear I can hear the little hampster killing over inside the hood. But here I am sitting back down and taking a moment to breath. Well last week I treated someone to a special birthday. It seems that there birthday has been horrible everytime for the last couple years. So I bought them a uber pink DS. And I even got them the Princess Peach lunch box carring case. The games I got was Guitar Hero On Tour, Indian Jones. Then I took them out to Buffulo Wild Wings and gave them some boozes. Then we went and saw Wall-E. That movie was so cute. This coming Friday. I'm so going to see HELLBOY!!!! *tail twitchs uber fast* Still its been a okay week. Save for my living space. But I'll post that up later. After all sometimes its just the person taking everything out of da context! *nips tails* You all behave and just drop in and say hi. Or I'll hunt you down! *snickers*

Sat, 28 Jun 2008 19:59:08 GMT

Well to those who know and remember me. I've some how found my way back into a world that seems now strange to me. When I sit and look at the screen I wonder who is looking back now at days? Still here I sit and type out what I want to say..but I do not know who is going to read or to even care. Well lets start at the very start of 10 weeks ago when I suddenly vanished.. My computer broke taking with it my window to many people I considered close and those I called my friends. But it also made me look at the world that is around me very closely. I thought that I would actually never want to live in a world outside of this computer. Yet when I looked at myself and the fact that in a few months I'm going to be 28yrs old. That sort of felt like a kick in the gut saying "What are you going to do?" Well I figured I want to live in the real world. I want to open my eyes and let my world just expand a bit more. I'm tired of thinking the world ends with me. I want to know that the world begins with me.

Right..wrong..the lie..

Sun, 13 Apr 2008 04:39:14 GMT

I recently had to be faced with a few many choices that are in my life. I have the choice in telling the whole truth..the partial truth..or just a flat out lie. Well I have to say there are so many grey areas in life that you can't pick a clear path any more. But you have to weigh in so many outside factors. Its hard to just say. Screw you I want the damn truth even if it tears out my heart and leaves a huge hole. Yet here I am. My soul torn into pieces as I just have to choose what I'm going to do next. Do I keep not telling the whole truth? Do I tell them everything?

You see I have a few problems in my heart and mind..and lately..its sort of just twisted a bit and its caused me to become depressed. But I never tell anyone else what is going on. Well not the whole truth. So here I sit..people always wanting me to be honest..yet I know if I come out with it..they would never look at me the same. So here I am..just lost at what to say now. People..such a intresting breed..we have the ablity to do so much..good..evil..right..wrong. Truth...Lie.

We walk foward..and things change..we look back and wish to change what we did..So now I just have to say this..Damn I think I have a kink in my neck from trying to twist it 180...

Shall we dance?

Fri, 11 Apr 2008 00:55:01 GMT

Yep..I know that the last post I made was a strange one about how far I would go for someone. But now I think I want to mix it up. I mean most people know that I can be way to damn deep. And if that is the case..please just smack me around and tell me to lighten up. And if you do it with a fish..so help me..heh.So to each of my friends..loved ones and just cool people. I say post your fav dance avi. This little guy here is mine. So come on and dance with me!

How far...

Thu, 10 Apr 2008 05:40:01 GMT

How far would you go for them? What would you give for them? Why would you give that? Does it matter? These questions ring out in my mind, like someone throwing a stick of TNT into my mind. Everytime I talk with them..everytime I hear there name..evertime I think of them..I..I want to do anything..I want to make the world stop so the moment last forever. I want to burn the world to the ground just to be with them. When your asked how far are you willing to go..I will put it like this

Body..Mind...Heart..Soul..everything that could make me..me. I would give it all in a moment. If a Devil came before me right now and said "If you become a Devil..you can live forever near that person..but you will descend when they ascend. You will burn forever..for the short time you will spend with them. I would gaze at that Devil..and I would not think twice. I would burn forever..even if just for a moment..a second..a breath. I would gladly give it all.

To live forever..knowing where you are going..cause you gave it all for that moment. I would hold no regrets..if you can say that..if you could burn forever knowing that the person will and might not accept you. Knowing that you may never be anything more then just someone who watchs over. Then that is when you know..when you know how far you will go.